Waan pinged me on Facebook earlier today. She was asking if I was going to visit soon. Her attention is selective; it depends on if she has a boyfriend or not. Still, it was nice having someone check up on me and ask how I was doing. In the last week, Aletheia was the only person that approached me first. After depression stabilizes and things go from dreadful to awful, I’m wary about sharing my feelings with people. I’m morose and whiny — not a good combination and not a good look.
Nutch shared an article about getting over someone. Some of it sounded thoughtful and helpful.
You might feel fine the moment you suppress your emotions, but that moment won’t last long because all of your feelings will find their way out eventually.
It doesn’t matter how much time you spent strategically hiding them, how much energy you spent ignoring them. Feelings will always release themselves.
In order to get over someone, you have to allow yourself to feel all of the sad emotions that will inevitably plague you during the post-breakup period. You have to feel it all to heal it all.
Some of it sounded terrifying.
You’ll feel depressed and broken. You’ll feel desperate and forlorn. You’ll feel empty and hollow.
You’ll feel like your heart has been burnt to a crisp, and instead of pumping blood, it pumps bits of ashes throughout your bloodstream, darkening your thoughts and clouding them with despair, poisoning every crevice of your soul.
Yeah, no thanks. I think I’ll stick to alternating between suppressing my emotions and feeling awful.
Hopefully that cycle won’t last long. I’m trying to adopt a new philosophy about people in general. If I can become as callous as I hope to be, then problems like these feelings won’t be an issue in the future. It’s good to have goals.