(Yes, it has been a while since I’ve updated, but I’ve been microblogging here.)
Thailand was lots of fun this time around. It was awesome seeing P Andy, Nong Mod, Martin, and Pin. I also met Mattie, who is super cool. He’s a friend of Andy’s from high-school wrestling (it’s like High School Musical but twice as ghey). They fell out of touch, but Andy rediscovered him ten years later (or something). He’s been living in Thailand for the last five years. He’s really fun and a little crazy.
Anyway, my last night in Thailand did not go as planned — not by a long shot. I hate going out on my last night. Although it’s helpful getting hammered before a trans-Pac flight, saying goodbye to friends gets me said. I was just planning on going out to dinner with Andy, Mod, and Martin. Martin flaked, but Andy, Mod, Noot, and I went to Bob’s.
Bob’s has this 700 gram burger called the “Wagon Wheel”. If you eat it in under 45 minutes, you get half off. Kenny has been daring me to do this for a while. Since I don’t think I’m going to Thailand any time soon, I decided to take the challenge. Like Kenny, Andy didn’t think I could down it either. He made a side bet with me: if I did it, he would pay for the other half, but if I didn’t then I would pay for his dinner. Here’s a pic of this monstrosity courtesy of P Andy.
Noot was not happy at all with me facing the Wagon Wheel. I went at it strategically, though I’m not sure my strategy was all that smart. I ate the top bun first, followed by the vegetables and french fries. There were a ton of veggies on this thing and the buns were huge and buttered. Lastly, I ate the bottom bun and meat as if it were a slice of pizza. I conquered the thing in 36 minutes.
Obviously, I wasn’t feeling the best after eating this thing. I really want to go back to the room, finish packing, and catch a quick nap. Noot decided we should go out. I didn’t argue with her, since the digestive powers of beer sounded like a good idea. We went to see Martin and I still felt like the Revolting Blob. Andy decided to annoy him by bringing durian into the bar, which was pretty funny. It was almost time to go when two girls bought me drinks (whiskey and soda). I shot them down quickly and minutes later I vomitted a great deal of the wagon wheel into one of Martin’s toilets. I felt exponentially better after that.
So I ended up going out, eating a ton, not getting drunk, vomitting, and not getting to say goodbye to Martin — not at all what I had planned!