All my troubles seemed so far away. *snicker* Sorry. Had to be done.
Anyway, yesterday was just kind of tough. I just didn’t feel like waking up. There didn’t seem to be much of a point. I felt like, “Well, I’m not going to get any emails or phone calls about a job. I don’t have any prospects until my meeting next week. My girlfriend is halfway across the world. And I don’t want to spend any money doing anything.” It’s just an awful feeling that I can usually snap out of fairly quickly, but it just stayed with me most of yesterday.
Ted downloaded that movie about people killing themselves by diving off the Golden Gate bridge. I really wanted to joke, “You know, sometimes I think about jumping off the bridge.” Don’t worry. I’m not really going to do it. But I’d be lying to you if I said the thought didn’t pop into my head every once in awhile. See, I kind of needed to make that joke to deal with the reality of thinking such stupid thoughts. If it’s real, you can joke about it — that’s one of the most important rules in my life.
More importantly, the idea of starting a family with Noot is what keeps me trudging forward. I have my good days and my bad days, but starting a family with her is the light at the end of the tunnel.
Record change! July might be fun and productive. I might have a one-day producing-gig locally and a three-day shoot in San Diego. Hopefully I can find someone to write E3 for as well (and a hotel floor to crash on!).