Wow. I’ve finally been able to stay home for four days in a row–first time in almost six weeks. Now that I’m starting to settle down (kind of…still haven’t unpacked completely and have tons of laundry to do), I’ve had a chance for reality to slap me in the face. It’s really scary for me right now. Three things in particular are bothering me.
Work: Duh. Having two contracts dry up when you get home isn’t the nicest way to return to your country. I’ve have a few freelance assignments, but nothing that pays too well. I’ve been applying for jobs every day; some of them are okay and some of them just suck–I just need money. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard much about any openings in the field I actually want to be in. I’ve asked some people, but not as many as I should have. It’s just hard to keep a positive outlook on things and I don’t want to keep hearing, “Sorry, there’s nothing out there.” Maybe tomorrow or Monday I’ll have more resolve.
My Mahal: It’s tough being apart. We miss each other a lot, though our “missing” is misaligned. It hits us both harder at night, when we want to curl up in bed with each other. Unfortunately she’s fourteen hours ahead, so when I really miss her, she’s busy with farm work and when she really misses me, I’m doing Internet stuff. A friend of ours got a visa to stay with her boyfriend in England. We’re so happy for them, but more than a bit jealous. This leads me to my next problem.
Visa: So I’ve been doing lots of research to see what I’ve been doing or thinking wrong about her visa chances. Rannie thought it best for her to experience the country before we got married. I totally agree with her, but I thought it would be impossible for her to get in unless we got married. This is true if you do all the paperwork yourself. I’ve discovered that it’s faster for her to get in with a fiance visa, which is difficult to get unless you’re shelling out a lot for good lawyers. (Sadly, I only knew crap lawyers when I was out there.) I’ve discovered a firm with branches in America and Bangkok, that comes highly recommended. They won’t take clients unless they know they can pull it off, and they know how to prep things to optimize the chances. A fiance visa would take five to seven months. For some reason, a spousal visa takes seven to nine. It’s retarded. This firm has a 100-percent success-rate. Unfortunately, it also costs a fair bit of money to get the visa and a fair bit more to process her greencard when we marry in the US. The good part is that if they did take my money, they guarantee results.
So these three things are stressing me out. I fluctuate between panicked, depressed, anxious, and at least four other emotions. Thankfully, I’m able to calm down and feel happy when I talk to her–my brief moment of joy and clarity once or twice a day.