Los Angeles was pretty interesting. There was a lot of … well, everything. There was lots of fun, lots of partying, one night with lots of drinking, some indiscretion, lots of karaoke, some disappointment, lots of concern, some struggling, a little vegging, a bit of walking, some hip pain, and a lot of love. It was draining, but it ended on a pretty positive note. I’m going to be trying something new; it’s going to be challenging, but it should make several things better for me.
After Kit picked me up from the airport, I rushed off to a Midway event. This wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but there was a chance to see someone I really wanted to see. It didn’t happen (big surprise), but I had a pretty good time. I had five drinks: one Diet Coke and four bottles of water. My beverage selection got a lot of stares, but it had to be done. Yes, I’m going on the sober kick. So far I’ve gotten through one karaoke session, an hour at a bar, and an industry event without a drink.
Sobriety hasn’t been easy. I get pretty yawny early on. I find myself wondering how to have fun. I’ve learned that I have no patience for banal conversation when I’m sober. Still, these things are a fair enough tradeoff for getting into stupid situations. I just need to rediscover the joy of sober fun.
Drinking has just been getting me into lots of trouble. I do dumb things, hurt myself, and hurt people I care about when sauced. Imagine if I was sober during the EverQuest 2 event? My last month would have been exponentially easier. There have been too many times in the last month where a night of drinking has lead to weeks of problems. I’m going to try to eliminate that.
I’m not giving it all up. I’ll have a nice glass of wine or something, but I’m not going to drink 10 vodkas or 15 kamikaze shots anymore. Maybe I can get to the point where I can control myself and get hammered on special occassions, but for now I really have to slam on the brakes. Young Clifford told me that he’s discovering that drinking doesn’t have to be 0 or 1. Hopefully I can get to the point where it isn’t a binary thing for me either, but for now it’s stone cold sober.
I’ll need help with this. Sober Friends powers, activate!