Top 10, Part II
From the master bedroom in a sty of a six-bedroom apartment in The Mission, San Francisco, CA…The Top 10 Things to do When Your Damn Baseball Team Loses Two Dramatic Extra-Inning Games in as Many Nights.
10) Hate on all those stupid Red Sox fans wearing the “Why Not Us?” t-shirts. Why not you? Because you suck.
9) Thank your team for keeping your mind off things for six hours…
8) …but curse them for making you feel worse when they lose.
7) Pray that David Ortiz gets kidnapped by a derranged Yankee fan.
6) Watch your skin break out because of emotional stress.
5) Hope Affleck can make his team suck as much as he does.
4) Wonder how you’re going to make it through the work day tomorrow since the only reason you got by today (barely) was because you left early to watch this stupid baseball game.
3) Make a David Ortiz voodoo doll and stab it until you fall asleep.
2) Suddenly become an Astros fan.
And the number one thing to do when your damn baseball team loses two dramatic extra-inning games in as many nights….
1) Look forward to watching the Yankees finish the job tomorrow when you’re hammered on soju.