From the corner cubicle in Brisbane, CA…The Top 10 Things to do When You’re at Work but are too Morose, Moribund, and Lugubrious to do Anything.
10) Check your Friendster account and read all your lovely testimonials.
9) Pester friends on AIM for a virtual hug.
8) Skip out on lunch with your coworkers, get a mediocre salad, eat at one of your coworker’s desks, and leave the scraps in his garbage bin.
7) Watch the clock on your phone until it’s time for the Yankee game.
6) Make plans with your daughter to see a documentary that will clearly worsen your mood.
5) Look for stationery to write a letter to say something you forgot to because you were too drunk and emotional to say it at the time.
4) Wish you had another job.
3) Wish you were in Cabo.
2) Thank Thor that your roommate has plenty of Neil Gaiman graphic novels so you can lock yourself in your room and escape reality through Sandman, Death, and pals.
And the number one thing to do while you’re stuck at work but can’t do anything because you’re too morose, moribund, and lugubrious to do anything….
1) Try to channel your sorrow into hatred for the Red Sox.