Simplicity, Thy Name is Irvine
I just got back from San Francisco. I got lots of work done and had a wonderful time. It was so nice seeing my friends, going to my old digs, and seeing my dream girl. Take a look at the picture. I love that look on my face. I don�t remember the last time I was that happy. We�ll get back to her later, after I talk about some ancillary stuff.
As much as I�m enjoying the made-for-pool-lounging weather in Irvine, I miss the crisp climate of San Francisco. I forgot how cool it gets up there in the summer. The weather was made for hoodies and Irvine is simply too warm for them. I really miss wearing my hoodies. There�s something extremely comforting about an article of clothing that envelopes you and that you can get lost in.
Oddly enough, I miss San Francisco less than I thought I would. I definitely miss it, but there�s something about the simplicity of Irvine that�s very good for me right now. I can be more focused down here, and I can channel more energy into self-improvement and my job. For now, that�s exactly what I need. When I�m ready, I�m sure I�ll end up back in San Francisco or New York.
I missed Tobie more than I thought. It was incredible to see her and I my heart was really heavy after we said goodbye. Still, it was a lovely goodbye (I really didn�t want to let go) and I can�t wait to see her again. It�s good and unusual–for me anyway–that I�m not dwelling on the fact that were hundreds of miles from each other and focusing on the next time I get to see her. There is something that�s confusing me though.
I�m not really sure what my feelings for Tobie are. It�s easy to dismiss them as another one of my stupid crushes that I use to distract myself from real feelings�but this woman touches my heart in a very genuine way. Logically there are dozens of reasons why this can�t work, but if she wanted something more intimate I�d give her my all. It�s safe having her in San Francisco, apart from my everyday reality, but I�m very much captivated by Tobie�so much so that I might ask for more�soon.