Insane in the Membrane I�m pretty sure I�m goin…

Insane in the Membrane

I�m pretty sure I�m going psycho (relatively speaking that is). I�ve been pathetically insecure and paranoid this week. I guess I�ve had a lot going on and there�s only one person I�ve been sharing it all with. Of the three people that I usually burden with all my nonsense, one has been dying while the other hasn�t been there for me (not too surprising). I�m better than I was earlier in the week, but I�m still considering seeing a therapist if it�s covered by my health insurance.

The worst part of my whole episode is that James probably thinks I�m a retard now, and I can�t really blame him. I know I was silly and irrational, but I don�t have nor do I want to make any excuses. Unfortunately, I showed him a part of me that I�m embarrassed of. On one hand I�m afraid he thinks less of me, but on the other it�s a very real part of who I am and–for better or worse–one that helps him understand me better.

Oh well, at least I have lots to look forward to this month. I should be going to San Francisco twice, so I can catch up with lots of friends. I can�t wait to see Tobie! I�ll also have a surprise, but most welcomed, visitor too. Finally, Steve should finally be moving in at the end of the month. I guess it�s all uphill from here. Cool.

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